Oh, darn.

I want to ponder for a few minutes the use of coarse language that employs words ending in hard consonants. You know the ones I’m talking about — those ending in “ck” and “t”, sometimes “ing” (if you’re creative and perhaps using it as an adjective), “ll” and “mn”.

These are the words you employ when that a**ho** cuts you off on the road, or the f***ing moron, otherwise known as your boss, forgets to turn in your overtime hours and your godda** paycheck is short. It’s that “oh sh**! when the alarm doesn’t go off and you realize it’s not the weekend. You might be using these words when that donut-sucking excuse for a police officer pulls you over for going 60 in a 55mph construction zone with no workers present, “fu***** hel*!!” (That’s the aforementioned adjective, or maybe adverb.)

“This isn’t an office. It’s HELL with fluorescent lighting.” – Unknown

My language has deteriorated of late as my frustration level has risen over various matters not to be detailed now (though I’m leaving that option open for another time).  I always feel like I’ve failed somehow when I use base language, as if I’ve lost control.

But, as with many other things I’ve discarded from my life of late, such as high heels, whole-wheat pasta, and one-ply toilet paper, I’m going to consciously move past that feeling of failure and lose control without a backward glance. I’ve concluded that words ending in “ck”, “t”, “ll”, “mn” and “ing” provide far more satisfaction and release of tension than any words ending in soft sounds, or following rounded vowels, ever can. “Poop”, “darn” (note the rounded “ar” sound), and “crap” will never fill the shoes of the aforementioned word list. There may be a case to be made for “heck” or “drat” but I’m not sold on those being 100% effective for anger management.

Dag nab it!

However, despite my intention to rise up and go forth on my newly-embraced linguistic vehicle, it’s also worth noting that overuse of these same words can deaden any effect they might have as tension relievers. So, I do plan to use them freely but judiciously, lest I resemble someone from New Jersey.

Footnote: Thanks to my  ??!!))  brother for consulting with me on this matter.


4 responses to “Oh, darn.

  1. I am all for cursing

  2. Amen!
    And as always, thanks for the laugh!

  3. A classically New York phrase incorporates most of the grammar pieces learned in grade school – adjective, noun, adverb while making the point:

    “You fu*ked up, fu*king fu*k.”

    Kind of makes a****le seem serene, don’t you think?

  4. Pingback: Fuck the Lilliputians. | The Magic Bus Stop

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