mONkey’S biZness

hEY! hEY YOU!! OH WAIT . . upnuujk;loj; wheres that *!(*# shift key

Okay, that’s b.ETTer . . .better. Mad Queen’s gone, Monkey here. ARe you out there, peeps/? Not much time, have things I got to tell you, things you need to no KNOW.

See, we been travellin lately, me and my Mad Queen. USED to be just me and Mad’s hub on the GO (she’d be pissed if she heard me calling her MAD, but she ain’t in the room, is she? Ha!) but now she quit that job thing mAD’s got her panties packed too. I’m finall y gettin out of that *()&^&(P backpack Mad’s hub kept me in and I’m seein it I tell ya –seein the FREAKIN world alrea.dy! Savannah bone connects to THE ATHENS Ga. boan connects to the Raleigh bone connects to the Porto Rico arriba!! bone!! Monkey rocks Tommy Bahama!!!

Typin with my toes

Now listen listen ,, Im goin to help you with yOUR travel. Help you save a little $cha-ching$ so’s you can buy more bananas. This ain’t no  monkEYS on typewriters scientifical theory stuff, this is the REAL THING. I no know what I’m talkin here.

First, get that air-o-line plastic. 30,000 free miles gets you there — all you gotta buy is a package of TicTacs and pay the bill on time — bam, free flight, get it?? Probly get you on the aerojet at the HEAd of the line, too, stead of squeezin in like a *()*)& sausage waaaaaay back in Zone 10 and havin to smash your personAL travelin monkey under some sweaty guy’s coat in the o-verhead, know what I mean?? Might get you and yours each a free che cked bag, too. Each, hear me? It’s not all about you. And don’t make me tell u you to join the airline frequent flier programs. You ain’t that stupid that you havn’t done it yet. You ain’t. , ,. Tell me you ain’t. Some of em give you comeplanyen commpaneon companion certificates to fly your favorite monkey along. Can’t lose I’m tellin ya. Can’t[

Same with those hotel/motel/Holiday Inn sing it with me now! credit cards. Don't cost you no.thin to join them hotel point programs, then get their plastic. Add those pOInts up and bam! --you could be sleepin pretty in no time. Just pay the bill and you get the points. Simple (Monkey knows. dON'T believe? Go here (jerk)). Adds up. Transfer points for airplane rides too -- go farther -- zoom zoom!!

So, Mad's all hand-wringy about soap and shampoo. You no know, those little soaps and shampoos in the hotel/motel/Holiday Inn. Take em? Leave em? She's feelin all guilty about taking em, . Not Hub. He's takin' em. Monkey's with Hub on this. Mad ain't had to buy soap in 3 years. 3, I'm tellin ya. (And I know they're usin soap I seen em. And I ain't no peepin Tom so don't get all het up about it.) That brand soap or shampoo make your pretty nose all twitchy? Donate it. Not every Body's nose is as picky as yours.; Lotsa peeps and monkeys two be glad to .use it,.

Same thing with those head-phones on the airPlanes -- they're offerin, take em even if you don't waTCLH the Movie. They fit all kinds of electronics. Monkey's collecting the whole set!

Somewhere between Port-o-RIco and Hotlanta, Mad got into some Thing that sent her royal gut into overdrive. Maybe the rum cAke at the Bacardi factory? The s;alad at the  HOtel? That giant German beer down-town?? Wherever, Mad was a Smart Queen and had her pink Pepto along for the ride. Coulda been a looong night didn't she have it. Don't leave home without it.)( Not a bad idea to tote some pro-biotics too;; keep that happy bacteria hummin.

Some,times Mad and her Hub got to go where Unca Sam's got his mitts in everything. E--vry--thing. Can't even get a drink without doin double dutch jump rope for some gov's  sake. Those little airline liquor bottles work just fine refilled. Heck, they even go through TSA's carry-on poke & prod routine (and u you think I'm a peEping Tom??). Pack your own 90 proof.

Last hotel Mad & hub bunked at wanted $13 a day to peek into the WOrld Wide Weeb. $13 -- a day -- *)(%$& --!!!! How's a monkey gonna make $$ to buy Dole stock at that rate??&& Mad sledded into the 3Ws using the hotel lobby net-work and her netbook -- free as a Big BIrd. Just take your little comPUter into the lobby, sniff up the available wire-less nEtworks, and jumnp on!! $13 bucks, Geez. Must think I'm a monkey's uncle

Save! You! Money!

Pack a headlamp. Tell me you no know they’re the new sexy. Great for midnight pacing or reading, and saves Monkey’s eyes from blindING bathroom light.

ud98ew%^&$…/++ecjf Gotta swing    Mad’s comin dont tell her i was

 

 

Sometimes, you just have to find your own shoes.

This gallery contains 30 photos.

Now that all the happy hubbub of being Fresh Pressed for my first Grand Canyon post has subsided (blush, blush, Mad Queen straightens tippy crown), I’ve got a few stories about the place, the trip itself, hiking overall, with maybe a … Continue reading →

Weekly photo challenge: Free Spirit

I want to go to the blue sky

to lay upon the clouds.

To fall, endlessly.

Through time

Through blue

Through the earth

And on and on and on.

Freespirit

Puerto Rico, seen from beneath a perfect hat.

Mike finagled us a trip to Puerto Rico by speaking about insect mating disruption at a conference there. That subject deserves its own post because it’s really, really interesting. No kidding. Really.

Here are my impressions of Puerto Rico, before the pictures that paint a thousand words:

1. The most important article of clothing turned out to be my hat, since the climate promptly styled my hair into havoc. (The hat is going to get its own post, too.)
2. I took nice clothes in case we ate at a nice restaurant. We did eat at a nice restaurant, and I wore a tee shirt with a skull on it, and my hat.
3. We didn’t see any surfers at Rincon, which is rumored to be a well known surfer’s paradise. The disappointment of not seeing them was mitigated by finding a heart-shaped rock on the beach.
4.  This was my first experience of texting photos to my friends and receiving their immediate replies. Sweet. It was almost like having them there with me.
5. It rains in the rain forest. Copiously.
6. The most used accessory on a car in San Juan is the horn. However, we saw very few speeding drivers outside the city. In fact, we nearly crashed into a couple vehicles on the toll road going at least 20 mph under the speed limit. Then, there was that episode of bob & weave with the pickup truck overloaded with fruit. Death by banana is not my method of choice.
7. Puerto Ricans are a people who will meet your eyes; there’s no stiff avoidance. They give you a thorough looking over. 
8. I knew intrinsically that there would be no need for me to go inside the Lo Coquette Lingerie and Booty Shop. There would be nothing inside there to fit my booty. There will be another post addressing that issue; it will involve the hat.
9. I now understand about the blue color of ocean water. Amazing.
10. Based solely on how many food vendors line the roads outside San Juan, I don’t know how there can be a) any live chickens remaining since they’re all on grills and spits and b) why anybody would cook at home.
11. I will not get on another airplane without some sort of earphones and music. I’m sure the gentleman from Tennessee was a lovely man, but I don’t sleep with my husband when he snores, and the prospect of a 4-hour flight beside a stranger thus engaged was dismal indeed. The flight attendant has my gratitude for re-seating me on a very full plane.
12. Who’s cruel joke was it to have my return flight board beside one flying to Houston? The Queen was not amused.
13. People will stare at someone who turns bright red from heat, though that someone is quite comfortable and unaware of her hue and is wearing a perfect hat.
14. I respect Puerto Rico’s pride in its rum production, and sampled my share, but I’m staunchly loyal to Tito’s Vodka, made in Austin, Texas.

Now, about those photos. . .

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